Joke # 2
The Bible teaches to love your neighbor, and
Kama-Sutra explains how.
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Joke # 3
Sheik
A sheik employed a track star to run from the palace to
his harem, which was about three miles away, to fetch
one of his wives whenever he was in the mood. The sheik
would nod and the track star would take off. This event
usually took place about three times a day until the
runner died at age 36. The sheik lived to be 96.
The moral of the story is, "Sex doesn't kill you... it's
the running after it that does."
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Joke # 4
Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a garage!
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Joke # 5
Sheik
When the Sheiks' oil fields dried up, he realized he
would have to cut back on expenses quickly. As much as
he hated to, he knew he would have to give-up most of
his harem. He decided to find out which ones performed
best in all aspects of sex and retain just those few.
Night after night the "contest" was held. Then one of
the younger girls performed such outstanding oral sex
on him, he knew she was one of the chosen. "Tell me,"
he said, "what is the secret of your fabulous technique."
"What I did, Oh Sovereign of the Sands, was to suck on
ice cubes prior to our session." replied the girl.
"You see, my Mother told me that in most cases, the
cooler head always prevails."
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Joke # 6
Scottish Jew
A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scot-
land, decided that he would like to enjoy life a little,
so he went to the exclusive St. Andrews Club. He was
told on applying that his application would have to be
approved by the Membership Board and that he would have
their decision in a couple of days.
Two days later he was told that his application was
refused. He went there to find out why. He was asked,
"You're Jewish, aren't you?"
"Aye" he answered, "but I'm as Scottish as you are Jock."
"Well, you understand that we wear nothing under our
kilts."
"Aye, I know that." "And being Jewish, you must be
circumcised."
"Aye I am that" Well, the board decided that they could
not stand a circumcised man parading around with us."
"Och, away with ye man," he cried. "I know I must be a
Protestant to march in the Orangeman's parade, and a
Catholic to belong to the Knights of Columbus, but this
is the first time I've heard that a man had to be a
complete prick to be a Scotsman!"
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Joke # 7
3 little pigs
Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw
pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig. One day this
nasty old wolf came up to the straw pig's house and
said, "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your house
down." So he did!
The straw pig went running over to the stick pig's
house and said, "Let me in, please, the wolf just blew
down my house!"
The stick pig let the straw pig in. Then the wolf showed
up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your
house down!" And he did!
So, the straw pig and the stick pig went running over
to the brick pig's house and said, "Let us in! The wolf
just blew down our houses and we're scared!"
So the brick pig let them in. The wolf caught up with
them and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff, and blow your
house down."
While he was huffing and puffing, the straw pig and the
stick pig were so scared. But the brick pig picked up
the phone and called a friend. A few minutes passed and
all of a sudden this big, black stretch limousine drove
up. Out came two massive pigs in pinstriped suits and
fedoras. These huge pigs came over to the wolf and
grabbed him by the neck and proceeded to beat the crap
out of him. Then they got back into their limo and drove
off.
The straw pig and the stick pig were amazed. They asked
the brick pig, "Who the heck were those guys?"
And the brick pig said, "Oh, those are my cousins, the
Guinea Pigs."
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Joke # 8
Q: What do you call a sleeping steer?
A: A bulldozer.
Y><}}}}>Y IN GOD WE TRUST Y<}}}}><Y
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